So there was this random guy that I met only once yet considering this he showed an increasingly annoying, unrelenting yet inconsistent interest in moi. So in an attempt by text to let him know I was too busy to connect with him any time soon, I told him, “I’m happy, I have a great life and I am good.” He responded, “You’re not happy because you’re single.” What? Ouch! Slap me silly why don’t you! Text or no text, that not only stung but hit me in the gut yet sounded incredibly immature (and possibly cray cray) on his part all at the same time. I did not bother responding and needless to say, he was cut off. As if he were ever on. However, it got me thinking…Is that how a single woman is thought of? Unhappy and desperate to take anyone who feigns interest in her. Is that what men think? I am not sure if this particular guy was a man despite his age but nonetheless he did make the statement as fact. So he must get the idea from somewhere. I’m single, therefore I’ll take you or any other man to fill my void of (assumed) unhappiness?…Wow! According to http://www.census.gov there are 105 million people over 18 years old and unmarried. If true, that is a lot of unhappiness!
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt
Yes I am single and somehow I am, God forbid, happy. Happy to know that I do not have to do anything for any ‘one’ else unless I absolutely want to rather than just because he is my plus one. Happy to live my life out and explore the way I want to live it, no chaser of a plus one to numb the fear of the inevitable. Happy to take this time to be free and simply be me.
Honestly, I must say having the time alone really allows for seeing what you can and cannot not deal with. In my being so in tune with that all knowing feeling, I recently became a little concerned in wondering am I going to find somebody that I really like and I mean really head over heels crazy like? That is the only reason I can imagine adding complication to an uncomplicated status.
Is graciously settling for the next ‘it’ thing the thing for singles? Heck no, being single is the IT thing!
Be in love with the element of surprise. Like Oprah says, “live your best life” until… Until who knows what will happen. It’s a surprise! Do not fret about finding the one. I am not saying the struggle isn’t real but I am saying there is beauty in the struggle!
So I came up with several reasons why your single life is ultimately awesome!
1. The toilet seat in the bathroom is always down. No annoying accidental fall-ins.
2. You do not have to share the remote. You can watch whatever you want.
3. You can stay out as late as you want no explaining yourself.
4. You can take Selfies with random guys you meet while out with your girls and make your ex-BF and the random dude jealous. Nobody knows the better.
5. Date who you want, how you want, where you want, when you want. Use it as a time to see another person’s life perspective without expectation of anything more than that and see what happens.
6. Explore your dreams and hobbies. Work hard, play hard on your terms during a time when you do not have to worry about catering to another. It will come.
7. There is no one to tell you how you should dress. If you are happy with it that is all that matters.
8. You do not have to cook if you don’t want to.
9. No sharing of the closet, it is all yours honey. Best reason ever!
10. You don’t have to deal with somebody snoring the whole night and ruining your beauty sleep and your attitude the next day due to lack of sleep.
11. More time for family bonding, girls night out and making new connections.
12. You can go see that chick flick without feeling guilty that you may be torturing your plus one for two hours (because you are).
Being single does not equate to being alone and unhappy. Of course there will be lonely moments but everyone has those, single or not. Live your life, continue to date, work, enjoy friends and hobbies that fill up your existence and create higher purpose. There is a time and place for everything even making room in your life for a permanent plus one.
Use this time to get to know and love yourself even more and you will find that your criteria for love, zest for life and what you really want can change dramatically.
What is your take on the single life? Post your comments below and sign up for emails from me, weekly or almost weekly… : )
Live life in style!