NATURAL HAIR, DON’T CARE!!
For most of my life, I only knew my hair one way—chemically straightened, pressed, and molded to fit a standard I never questioned. Relaxers were a rite of passage, a necessity, a beauty “requirement” passed down through generations. It wasn’t just about preference; it was about belonging, about being “presentable,” about fitting into a world that rarely celebrated the fullness of our natural beauty.
But life has a way of shifting things. After cancer, I saw myself in a way I never had before—stripped down, bare, and rebuilding. This experience was profound, as it led me to confront the deeper aspects of my identity and self-worth. I began to question everything I had accepted as the norm, including societal perceptions of beauty. And in that rebuilding, I asked myself: Who am I when I’m not trying to fit in? The answer came in coils, kinks, and curls.
Going natural has been both liberating and challenging. I love my hair’s versatility—the way I can rock a sleek twist-out today, a voluminous fro tomorrow, and a silk press next week. Each style is a different expression of who I am, and they allow me to embrace the many facets of my personality. The way my hair shrinks, stretches, and speaks in its own language of resilience reminds me of my journey. It demands care, patience, and love—the same things I had to learn to give myself, as I started to prioritize my own needs and feelings in a world that often tells us to do otherwise.
And yet, unlearning takes time. Some days, I catch old thoughts creeping in, whispering that my hair should be “tamed” or “fixed.” These thoughts can be insidious, popping up when least expected and challenging the progress I’ve made. But I remind myself that my beauty isn’t defined by Eurocentric ideals. It never was. Those ideals are constructs that serve to limit, rather than celebrate, the rich diversity of beauty in the world.
I wear my natural hair not just as a style but as a statement of survival, self-acceptance, and breaking cycles. Each curl is a testament to the ancestors who came before me, who navigated struggles far greater than my own. And while the transition hasn’t been easy, filled with moments of self-doubt and vulnerability, it has been worth every moment.
To my fellow Black women navigating this journey: Love your hair in all its forms. Love yourself in all your glory. Remember that our experiences are valid, and our stories are powerful. We are enough, just as we are. Affirm your identity, cherish your uniqueness, and celebrate every aspect of who you are. 💜✨ As we support one another, we become stronger, and we pave the way for future generations to embrace their own natural beauty without hesitation. Our journey is not just personal; it’s a collective movement toward honoring our authentic selves.
Check out a few products (not all) that I use to keep my hair in check, here.
What’s your latest beauty dilemma? Hair, skin, makeup, or otherwise that you’ve had to overcome… Please share in the comments or send me a message.
XO, Lysandra Joy
Beauty Expert & Lifestyle Curator 